WHAT KEEPS US HAPPY, HEALTHY AND FULFILLED IN LIFE?
If you said money, fame or looking eternally youthful, you wouldn’t be alone. Yet, according to a 75 year old Harvard study the key findings to long term happiness and health are loving meaningful relationships with partners, friends, family and community.
The big lessons from the study are:
1. Healthy social connections are really good for us. People who are more socially connected are happier, healthier and live longer than people who feel isolated and lonely. People who are less happy live shorter lives and experience declining brain function. Loneliness isn’t a function of being alone, it’s how one feels loved or supported by friends and community. One can be lonely in a crowd of people or in a loveless marriage. It’s not dependant on how many friends you have or if you are in a committed relationship, it’s the quality of your relationships that matter.
Living in conflict is really bad for your health.
High conflict marriages or relationships without love or affection are toxic for your health and much worse than going through a divorce. Many people stay in loveless relationships due to financial insecurities, children or simply the fear of being alone. Healthy loving relationships are protective and good for our mental and emotional wellbeing.
2. The people in their 50’s who are most satisfied with their relationships were the healthiest at age 80. It was also found that people in their 80’s who had happy relationships dealt with physical pain differently than those with emotional pain. They reported that the physical pain was magnified by emotional pain.
3. Good relationships protect our body and brain function and in particular memory. This is consistent with traditional Chinese medicine as the heart is responsible for long term memory. Having secure relationships where you feel you can rely on people has a strong benefit to our health. From an energetic perspective, this support strengthens the base chakra and nurtures the kidneys which is good for vitality and short term memory.
Good relationships are good for our wellbeing – a wisdom that has survived the test of time through the ages and that is still relevant today. This is important to bring into awareness especially as digital technology now dominates our lives. Replacing screen time for people time, refreshing a relationship by experiencing something new together, contacting or visiting friends you keep putting off, spending some time with a love one, talking, sharing, having fun, being present and listening, all develops lasting real connections that sustain us and provides a mutual beneficial healthy relationship that supports our overall wellbeing and enriches our lives.
If having healthy, fulfilling relationships is important to you, Maite Butron and David Flakelar will be facilitating the first of three weekend workshops to help you achieve this important goal. The first workshop on “Friends and Colleagues ” is 18th – 20th October will be in Sydney. Be quick to take advantage of the early bird price and secure your place to these transformational workshops call 0418 407 750 or 0415 567 119.
HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS WHEN 80 % NORMALLY FAIL.
Have you ever made a list of New Years resolutions and approached the new year feeling excited about achieving them only to find by the end of February that motivation grinds to a screaming halt, leaving you feeling like a failure instead of a champion? If so, you’re not alone. According to US News and World Report 80 % of people similarly fail to reach their goals by February. Why do so many of us fail to achieve such worthwhile goals when they seem like such a great idea at the time?
The common reason for failing to achieve these goals are based on what you think you should achieve instead of what inspires you from your Heart. If you make your goals based on should’s, you won’t have the energy to overcome the obstacles. Excuses inevitably surface distracting you from staying on track and then you hit the wall and give up.
Many people think losing weight and getting fit are worthwhile goals and they are. But ask yourself “do I really feel inspired to achieve them? ” If the answer is NO, it’s likely you will be unable to maintain the motivation and stay with the routine to achieve your goals and in the end feel worse than you before you started. Whilst being healthy is a noble worthwhile goal, it is the person you become that has true meaning that inspires your Heart.
The key to achieving goals is to find what inspires you. This inspiration comes deep within you – not from your head but from your Heart your connection to the real you – your soul – your truth. When you touch on what really inspires you, your whole
True inspiration naturally
When you find your “inspired goals” you naturally are more committed to achieve them as you are living from your truth and you will feel that it is your choice rather than a goal that is being imposed on you from media or what society projects onto you e.g. I should lose weight; I should stop drinking. Your head will say these are good ideas, but your heart decides if these inspire you. Learn through meditation or any personal development how to be in touch with your Heart so you can easily feel the difference between an “inspired goal” and a “head goal”.
“If the inspired goal is the arrow then the bow is the support to achieve it.”
When we discover what resonates in our Heart as an inspired goal, it is vital we get support to help us achieve it – join groups, share your goals and vision with friends and family, get coaching, joining regular practice sessions to sharpen your skills, and engage in further education . Whether you have business or personal goals it’s important to have a plan of support to help keep you on track so make sure you plan, organise and execute your support plan to propel your inspired goal into reality.
INSPIRED GOAL + SUPPORT = SUCCESS
There aren’t good or bad goals. What inspires a goal is as varied as there are people. People who change the world aren’t always who you expect. Ordinary people believe in a better world. Inspired by your Hearts, goals no matter how big or small have the power to change your life and make meaning from a world that can at times seems empty and meaningless.
“It’s not what you achieve, it’s the person you become that matters ”
How to survive Christmas and the Festive Season
Nothing congers up the strange combination of dread and excitement like Christmas Day – it’s is a difficult day for most of us so I thought I’d share some helpful strategies to avoid some of the pitfalls.
The usual best practices still apply, like limiting your alcohol, keeping hydrated, getting plenty of rest, keeping active etc. These are obvious and well documented – I wanted to share with you some of the not so obvious booby traps that lie waiting for you so you have a better chance of surviving the festive season relatively unscathed or at least better prepared and hopefully minimising the potential dramas.
1.Being alone or not having love ones with you at Christmas.
As we mature we can find ourselves sharing Christmas without parents or love ones through circumstances or from their passing, or for young people, travelling overseas is hard being away from home at Christmas without family. Both cases can be very emotionally difficult – if you don’t manage feelings of loss or sadness you can find yourself having an upsetting day. My late father loved Christmas, he sang carols while he cooked wonderful gourmet food – he was so happy to have everyone home at Mangrove Mountain – he was our “Christmas Light”. Since his passing 5 years ago we celebrate with him in spirit and celebrate the happiness he shared with us despite his physical absence.
To process emotional sadness, acknowledge the emotion and then use ‘Letting Go’ to connect and release the emotional energy. That is, feel with long, slow in breaths into your belly/emotion ( to connect with the emotion ) then with the intention of letting the emotion go, feel the out breath through your mouth letting go all of the sadness. Repeat 4-6 times. This sounds simple and it is, however, it’s really effective and allows you to let go of the emotional pain
2.How to manage conflict with a difficult family member.
Conflict with family members is really common. The first few hours or days everybody is trying to be on their best behaviour and peace reigns for this period, then any unresolved wounds for some start to emerge fueled by alcohol and triggered by some innocent statement or comment – then BANG !!!
These explosions can range from being drunkenly abused, to subtle belittling and put downs or both. Either way the combination of drinking too much and spending way too much time together in close quarters can be a lethal combination creating a bomb that just needs one last comment to light the emotional wick.
So what do you do if you find yourself in either situation – run !!!!
No, the power of any situation is in your ability to manage your own reaction, to stay calm and be the better person. To stay calm simply place your attention feeling your breath immediately with long slow breaths and then in a calm tone try to acknowledge their pain / feelings and ask “can we to discuss this tomorrow as its Christmas and I’d be happy to discuss this with you then ? “. If they continue their tirade, simply breath and repeat your request.
In the advent of a
3.Cultivating a good attitude.
Most of us have wonderful childhood memories of singing carols by candle light in our pajamas on Christmas eve unable to sleep with the excitement of Santa arriving with the reindeers and the presents we may receive in our stockings.
Over the years our expectations and experience of Christmas changes naturally as we grow up and share the magic with our children and family nieces and nephews.
As family’s mature and children move away and partner, get married etc. Christmas gets complicated and our expectations of the ideal family get together gets harder if not impossible to maintain and our old expectations, hopes and dreams become unrealistic. This unmet expectation of what Christmas should be places a great strain on everybody and any short comings we can judge and feel let down as this year somehow wasn’t up to our old expectations.
The key to having a happy Christmas is NOT to have unrealistic expectations about having the perfect day, where everyone will be perfectly behaved, the traffic will flow and everything goes smoothly etc. This will set you up for disappointment and despair every time.
The best way to approach Christmas is to simply open your heart and have gratitude for your blessings of the day, the people in your life that love you, friends, the healthy delicious food you share. Even if you are alone you can still find happiness in the day by engaging in positive activities that make you feel good like swimming at the beach, walking picturesque trails, making your favourite food and reaching out to close friends and family.
We have a choice to choose peace and enjoy whatever our Christmas day brings. We live in a time of peace and plenty, be present and grateful for the blessings life has given you and enjoy your day however it finds you.
Anxiety Unplugged: Understanding stress and anxiety from an energetic perspective
With the increase in diagnosis and treatment of depression and anxiety it would seem that mental health disorders are on the rise. But are the rates of
mental health disorders really increasing or is the medical fraternity becoming hyper vigilant and prescribing anti-depressants for normal common stress-related
Most of us at some stage have felt anxious about something like a new job interview or having to give a speech in public. When we are faced with an obvious
stressful event or a difficult situation we tend to accept the anxious feelings as normal and the anxiety then usually calms down completely with the
end or absence of the stressor. But when the anxiety doesn’t go away or comes on randomly without an obvious trigger, that is when you can really freak
out, especially if you don’t understand why you are feeling that way. If you don’t have the tools or strategy to deal with the anxiety, the fear of
it only feeds it and the anxiety can spiral out of control. For many people this is their reality.
When anxiety hits you in this way you can feel nauseous, your mind has irrational thoughts and you think “right now I really am losing my #$@% and it’s
only a matter of time before I’m off to the looney bin” …Does that sound familiar? Well you’re not alone because anxiety is becoming commonplace
for many people. More and more people with anxiety and depression are presenting at my clinic and that is what’s prompted me to write this blog; to
offer some insights from an energetic perspective and some handy tips to help you understand and hopefully avoid anxiety or a panic attack, or at least
manage it better so you feel empowered rather than victimised.
What is anxiety?
The precursor to anxiety is always stress i.e. fear: an age-old condition since the dawn of time.
In the beginning, the stress response saved our lives. It allowed us to run from predators, enabled us to take down prey, run from dinosaurs or protect
our family from neighbouring cavemen – it’s known as the “flight/fight response”. This is a vital part of our physiology and without it, we may not
be here today to even talk about it – we would be dug up instead as fossilised dinosaur droppings.
We are designed to cope with a limited amount of stress to avoid danger in short bursts and as the threat of danger passes, we relax in the safety of our
cave and our stress levels return to normal.
Unfortunately, our 2017 life style is creating modern stressors such as coping with 30-year mortgages, meeting deadlines, final exams, difficult bosses,
children, traffic jams and a multitude of other modern day pressures. And so we have difficulty turning this stress response off. From our body’s perspective,
we are still running from dinosaurs; constantly marinating ourselves in corrosive stress hormones. As a result, our stress is slowly killing us – statistics
show a 50% chance you’ll end up with a chronic disease due to unmanaged levels of stress and anxiety.
Stress is simply an unmanaged fear-based response, imbalancing the various energy centres of our energetic system and negatively impacting our mind, emotions
and body as a result.
‘Beyond Blue’ defines anxiety as:
Physically: panic attacks, hot and cold flushes, racing heart, tightening of the chest, quick breathing, restlessness, or feeling tense, wound up and edgy,
Psychologically: excessive fear, worry, catastrophising, or obsessive thinking
Behaviourally: avoidance of situations that make you feel anxious which can impact on study, work or social life.
Stress, left unmanaged, creates a condition known as anxiety – a prolonged adrenalised state constantly undermining the quality of our life and reducing
our ability to perform and cope with life.
Creating the Anxiety Bomb
Not every person who has a stressful day will experience anxiety or a panic attack. To create an anxiety bomb one needs to have been exposed to a high
level of stress (short or long term) and completely block or control the emotion (fear) negating the natural release of the excess stress through the
If you watch young children play, they are completely uninhibited when it comes to expressing their emotions, as society hasn’t yet taught them to control
and block their natural states. As a result, young children usually release their emotions and then continue to play and interact peacefully as the
emotional charge has been expressed and released. Animals release stress by physically exerting themselves to burn off the adrenalin – ducks vigorously
flap their wings after conflict; dogs and horses run around or shake for the same reasons – to expel the excess adrenalin.
Traditionally, post-World War II generations were told to “get on with it” in order to survive the travesties of war. What choice did they have at the
time? This suppression of stress (particularly emotional stress) has endured and been passed on through the generations ever since. For some men, the
ability to suppress stress is foolishly revered as a badge of honour – with lethal consequences.
Society’s inability to understand, much less teach, generations how to manage emotional stress effectively has led to generations of suppressed, unresolved,
emotionally wounded people. Combined with the modern dilemma of wanting more and doing more, with little down time to relax and slow down, we have
created an emotional pressure cooker – an anxiety bomb waiting for the next trigger to light the fuse. Triggers such as an argument, a loss of some
kind, being run down from over work and lacking of sleep, or a trigger from a childhood trauma can suddenly provoke a stress response that will suddenly
flood the body with panic and anxiety.
These explosions can manifest in a variety of ways, such as full-blown anxiety attacks, a mental breakdown, or through a more subtle a slide into the blues
The good news is that we can diffuse the anxiety bomb by reducing and managing the fuel (stress) and dismantling the bomb (ignorance that creates it in
the first place).
The energy of stress / fear can be absorbed and held anywhere in the body and there are three energy centres that are always involved in anxiety. These
are the base, navel and heart centres.
The base centre triggers the classic fight response, connecting to the kidneys and adrenals and creating that speedy, can’t-sit-still, adrenalised feeling
throughout the body. This contraction of the base centre also reflects to the diaphragm, commonly resulting in an inability to breathe deeply.
Fear also imbalances the navel centre, effecting our digestive system and stomach and resulting in feelings of nausea or pain across the whole torso.
The heart centre contracts fear through the pericardium – the membrane housing the heart organ. This feels like a tightness across the chest and can lead
to a heart racing due to trapped excess energy. Normally, the energetic meridians of the pericardium expel excess energy through the hands acting like
a release valve so the heart stays calm. When we hold fear in the pericardium/heart this release valve through the pericardium meridian is reduced,
resulting in a backup of energy in the chest giving rise to a pounding panic attack or the feeling of a sack full of rabbits in the chest.
An additional symptom of anxiety is the feeling of being ungrounded, where the energetic body is displaced from the physical body. It has a predictable
set of characteristics such as; floating out of body; clumsiness; feeling forgetful and unable to structure thought; feeling like you are watching
your life and not being in it; feeling detached; feeling emotionally up and down.
Research shows that our perception to a situation is critical to our response. i.e. How we think about a potential stress determines our emotional response
and visa versa – how we feel about a situation affects our thinking. So what comes first, the thought or the feeling?
In the end it doesn’t matter – we need to manage both. Viewing our situation from a calm, rational perspective is important i.e. realising we won’t die
if we don’t meet our expectations or that the worst scenario isn’t life threatening, helps keep our thoughts in perspective. Conversely, managing our
emotions – letting go of the fear and calming ourselves down – reverses the negative irrational thoughts.
Having tools and a strategy for managing both the mind and the emotions is key to reducing the stress response in any situation.
The tricky aspect in mental health is the complexity and conflicting definitions of what is “normal” and what is a “mental illness“- even within psychiatry
circles there is division and confusion.
Dr Al Frances, the lead editor of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders said, “There is
no definition of a mental disorder. It’s bulls–t. I mean, you just can’t define it.” (Greenberg 2017)
So for the average person, how do we know what is normal and what is a mental illness? Am I losing it or am I just stressed out? Should I seek help? Do
I need specific medications, interventions and perhaps time spent in an acute care mental health facility? What are my treatment options other than
anti-depressants etc.? Do alternative therapies help? And so on.
For most people with some form of depression or anxiety, the first port of call is to seek help from a general practitioner, where anti-depressants are
often prescribed. Other general practitioners with a broader perspective might refer patients to a psychologist, who in turn will provide drug-free
one on one consultations to help address and hopefully reduce the symptoms by encouraging a different mental approach to their problems.
Psychologists will often discuss a broader framework for individuals addressing aspects of the work / life balance, lifestyle habits and relationships.
If these initial consultations fail to remedy the symptoms, a referral to a psychiatrist is the third line of defence for a GP. At this stage, medications
will be the order of the day to help balance any chemical imbalances affecting mood, behaviour and general outlook. With this approach, patients will
often feel there is no other choice or alternative treatment offered by the prescribing doctor.
In my last 15 years working as an energy medicine practitioner, I have witnessed this typical approach to mental health and for some patients it has been
the best approach to manage their states of depression and anxiety. However, I have also seen many people who found little benefit from the GP/psychologist/psychiatrist
approach and have presented themselves at my clinic disillusioned, frustrated and more anxious than were when they were first diagnosed.
In recent years, the acceptance of mindfulness meditation (now verified by scientific studies) has the medical professions catching onto what the eastern
traditions have known for centuries to be a legitimate tool in the treatment of anxiety and depression – a mind/body medicine so to speak.
Understanding stress and anxiety from an energetic perspective provides a fresh approach to this common challenge we all face at some point in our life
and provides a successful treatment methodology for many people. I have helped many patients otherwise at the end of the treatment options road completely
recover from anxiety. This has achieved by combining one-on-one treatments and teaching a refined therapeutic mindfulness program “Meditation Essentials”
as an ongoing self-care strategy.
Most people tend to have an idea what is triggering their anxiety or depression but little understanding of the cause or tools available to practically
deal with the condition where traditional options have failed.
There are some very easy practical solutions to help reduce anxiety.
- Do some regular exercise that is appropriate for your level of fitness, preferably something you like and with a group or friends to help motivate
you. This will generally reduce the adrenalin and calm your body down and hopefully provide some fun.
- Get out in nature and walk around with your bare feet (where practical) on the earth. Places such as parks or beach walks are ideal.
- Go swimming in a safe environment – in the ocean or any body of water – even for a few minutes this helps relax the kidneys and cleanse your etheric
field.( The energy field around your body )
- Have an Epsom bath with lavender – I recommend lavender from Young Living Essential Oils to relax your whole mind and body.
- Book a kidney/adrenal treatment with me to reverse to build up of stress.
- Share your concerns with a trusted friend or family member and be open to receive love and support on a regular basis – don’t be an island.
- Understand the mind usually exaggerates the problem – recall how many things you worried about that actually didn’t happen.
- Book a session with me or a reputable practitioner to release the emotional fear and clear the meridians from the energetic system.
- Book into the next Meditation Essentials meditation course see www.davidflakelar.com – a five-week mindfulness program designed to help you manage
your mind and emotions.
- Keep your fears in perspective. Recognise that it’s probably not life threatening and the worst case scenario isn’t as bad as you think.
- Know that this difficult time will also pass.
- Be proactive in resolving issues that worry you i.e. if you don’t know, seek professional advice to help you find solutions and act on them straight
- Remember change what you can and accept what you can’t and BE at peace with what is.
If you feel you need additional help the first step would be to contact your local GP for a referral to a registered alternative health practitioner as
part of an overall treatment plan.
Greenberg, Gary 2010, “Inside the battle to define mental Illness”, Wired, viewed 24th March 2017, https://www.wired.com/2010/12/ff_dsmv/
Beyond Blue, viewed 24th March 2017, https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ the-facts/anxiety/signs-and-symptoms
How to Manage the Emotional Roller Coaster of Life
For most of us managing our emotions successfully is our greatness challenge.
Why is it we can be so technically proficient in our careers but fail dismally with the tricky world of emotions especially in relationships?
You know the saying “if you think your enlightened and got it all together go and live with your parents for a week” and see what happens, yes the old
buttons get pressed and bingo your cool new age demeanour you had a week a go, is now in tatters as you either lose it with your folks and or feel
like running off the edge of a cliff.
The good news is there IS a way to stay calm and compassionate whilst engaged in conflict or disagreement without being adversely effected.
By understanding our emotions and learning ways to manage them we can avoid falling into the dark side of our emotional patterns and preserve important
relationships including the one with yourself.Developing a higher level of emotional intelligence means having the ability to recognise our behaviour,
moods and emotions and manage them in a positive way.
Emotions shape and give meaning to our life connecting us to an inner fabric of our Being. We are naturally emotional, it’s what drives our instincts and
colours our life.The spectrum of emotions from happiness to sadness, and everything in between will be experienced throughout the chapters of our life.
Despite our attitude to emotions, they are part of us, and therefore need careful consideration if we are to live life to our potential.
As children we express our emotions freely and openly until we are taught to suppress or control them, to conform to a set of cultural values where ‘negative‘
emotions are judged as wrong or unacceptable.
Historically, children were punished if they expressed their emotions inappropriately, leaving them feeling confused and hurt. As a result, we grew up
suppressing our emotions to survive or conform to the norm, ‘to fit in’, to be accepted, loved and ultimately feel secure.
Today as adults, most people either control and repress their emotions, others hang onto them becoming the emotion. Both options are toxic and disempowering.
Controlling negative thoughts and emotions for most becomes a survival skill and a way of being. Repressing the emotion doesn’t resolve or release it as
they are stored and accumulate in the body in time becoming a potential cause of illness and disease. For example the term ‘don’t mention the war’
can trigger deep unresolved emotions from war veterans who previously were resting peacefully.
Hal Hershfield is an expert in behavioural economics from the University of California Los Angeles. His study on the role of emotions in health and observed
47 adults undergoing psychotherapy for difficult life events such as going through a divorce and found that simply increasing levels of happiness didn’t
improve people’s wellbeing. Rather, it was the people who experienced a mixture of positive and negative emotions who saw subsequent improvements in
their wellbeing. In other words, it’s vital we allow ourselves to connect, feel, express both positive and negative feelings.
It is the repression or control of our emotional truth that has the most toxic effect on our mental and physical wellbeing.
It’s unrealistic and naive to expect you can be happy every day all the time.
While it’s a noble and worthwhile pursuit to live a positive and happy balanced life, most of us will experience some pretty tough emotion chapters along
the way like losing someone close to you, or being left by someone you love in a relationship, or being publicly humiliated etc.
The question isn’t how to avoid these experiences and emotions (life will throw them at you anyway), it’s how do we best manage them in a way so they don’t
manage or define us or feel victimised by them?
How do you deal with your emotions?
Common ways people repress or avoid feeling emotions;
- convince urselves to be strong and responsible , ’suck it up’ ‘be a man’ or ‘grow up’
- tell ourselves not to burden people or dwell on negative feelings because being vulnerable is dangerous.
- judge ourselves and invalidating our feelings leading to a lack of connection to our truth.
- we tackle difficult situations with super- rationality and excessive thinking staying completely in the mind, resulting in the absence of compassion
- we keep ourselves ‘in control’ to avoid confronting situations that may press our buttons , eg public speaking, dealing with conflict, pushing ourselves
out of our comfort zone etc
For some people they become defined by their emotions, hanging onto anger or the sadness etc unable to release or resolve them. These emotional people
will often use their emotional state to their advantage getting some form of payoff. Some get attention as the victim, some avoid taking personal responsibility
by constantly blaming others, some use the silent sulk approach to punish people until they submit to their will.
A father used his anger as a bullying tactic to manipulate everyone to enforce ‘his’ will upon his wife and children. Inevitably, the marriage ended in
divorce with all the adult children moving overseas permanently.
Either the repression or indulgence of an emotion will have a negative impact on how you feel, think and behave as the emotion acts like a lens effecting
how you see the world. For example if you hold onto worry that’s the lens you see through, projecting worry into all your life relationships. Triggers
have the same response. Usually, people who worry, worry about everything because of this lens projection.
Emotions can also act like invisible buttons, lying dormant waiting for the next person or situation to press them triggering a predictable reaction that
defines behaviour over and over again creating a repetitive destructive emotional pattern.
Blaming the button presser instead of dealing with the button keeps the emotional pattern alive – the unconscious mindset justifies the reactions instead
of taking responsibility for how they are and managing their emotions effectively.
So instead of over-reacting and over-compensating when things don’t go as you planned, you can learn how to be aware and manage your emotions using mindfulness
meditations and simple stress management techniques.
Becoming more aware of your own thoughts and feelings and managing them consciously, will improve your ability to interact calmly with others both in the
workplace and at home.
This newly found emotional freedom allows you to communicate more effectively, succeed at work and achieve your career and personal goals more efficiently
The Mind Body Dynamics
The relationship between mind, emotions, body and performance are linked through the energetic system. Each part can have an upstream or down stream flow
on effect on the whole, positively or negatively, as a stress response or a relaxation response.
MIND > EMOTIONS > BODY > PERFORMANCE
For example, if we have a negative mindset about a specific task, our emotion may be resentful, our body becomes tense and the quality of our job may be
inferior as a result. Conversely, we may feel very stressed and tense from a busy week at work and receive a massage or part take in exercise, afterwards
feeling better about life and thinking more positively. In order to have a more permanent holistic change we need to identify at any given moment what
part of our being is the cause of the stress response.
For most of us, the absence of emotional management in our education, often becomes the weak link in the mind body dynamic. This emotional weakness can
be addressed through conscious mindfulness practices offering an opportunity to strengthen and improve our overall health, wellbeing and performance.
Research shows positive happy people live up to 10 years longer than depressed unhappy people and have 50 % less risk of developing a chronic disease.
Studies in psychoneuroimmunology PNI clearly show our capacity to Attend to, Connect with and Express and Release symptoms, supports our wellbeing and
ability to heal and reduce the toxic effects of stress in our lives.
Dr Mogens R Jensen followed the progress of a group of breast cancer patients for two years. Women who suffered more rapid spread of cancer shared certain
personality traits: repression as a way of coping, non-expression of emotions and feelings of helplessness. i.e. avoiding attending, connecting and
expressing difficult emotions . In contrast, those who displayed or developed the ACER factor had a remission rate of 46 percent higher than those
who repressed emotions.
The “attending and connecting ” components of the ACE factor are experienced and released through the Mindfulness of Emotions Meditation and the Letting
The Letting Go Technique
The Letting Go Technique allows release of a held emotion.
Sometimes no matter how positively we apply ourselves to life, we can emotionally react to a difficult situation despite our best intentions and find ourselves
angry, frustrated, fearful etc. It’s important to attend, connect, express and release the impact of the emotional stress to minimise it’s toxic effects.This
meditation combines feeling and connecting to the emotion using the breath and by conscious intention, letting the emotion go using the out breath.
In certain cases of emotional trauma and chronic emotional stress, a one on one session with David Flakelar maybe needed to resolve the mental and emotional
stress using accurate energetic techniques tailored to an individuals needs.
In the Meditation Essentials 5 week mindfulness course participants learn a step by step process to achieve 5 power practical mindfulness meditations to positively manage your mind, emotions and body.
The Letting Go Technique
Take a moment to adjust your posture so your sitting in a upright supported position . . . gently close your eyes and settle into your body . . . Now,
in your own way, take a few moments to connect with yourself . . .Take a few deep, conscious breaths feeling your in and out breath.
1) Ask yourself what am I feeling right now physically and emotionally?
For example, you may feel tight neck and shoulders and feel very frustrated and angry……. or you may feel sick in the stomach and be worrying…..
either way identify the emotion you are feeling.
2) Now ask yourself does holding onto this emotion serve me?
3) Once you identify the negative emotion make a conscious decision to let it go despite the story.
4) Close your eyes and allow yourself to feel the in breath into your navel area connecting to the emotion. On feeling the out breath let the emotion go
feeling your breath out your mouth. Combine feeling the breath and the intention to let the emotion go completely.
5) Repeat the process of feeling the in breath into the emotion and letting it go using the out breath until you feel a sense of peace in yourself devoid
of the subject emotion. For some people this may take 6 times others a few minutes.
Ideally, getting to the root cause of emotional patterns through one on one sessions and learning proven mindfulness meditations is the best insurance
for managing your life on a daily basis. Getting help through the difficult chapters we all face at times helps you get through the storms of life
and back into happy days…..
For private consultations, workshops see www.davidflakelar.com